Subject	Most of the female customs officers are butch and ugly
Posted by	fuzzymonkey on September 19, 2013 at 4:42 PM
	This message has been viewed 440 times.
In Reply To	LOL. Glad it goes both ways.... posted by ZXoltan on September 19, 2013 at 03:37 PM
Message	So the one time I had a hot one, I took advantage of the situation. Officer: Why do you look so nervous? (i'm actually always nervous around authority) Me: Because you're so beautiful Officer: Excuse me? (bitch face) Me: I mean, I have to *tinkle*. Nonetheless, got called in, they searched the car, found nothing, and sent me on my way. I could write a book on the things I've said to authorities. It is just plain fun, and i'm doing nothing wrong. Here's the conversation of how I got thrown into the interrogation room. 3am, coming home from just another fuel fillup, when I get called inside from the Canadian customs officer. No biggie, happens every so often. Normal questions, normal searches, but this time, he comes back and says... Officer: "I just swabbed your driver's license, and I found traces of cocaine" Me: "No, you didn't" Officer: "Yes I did. Do you want to tell me anything here?" Me: "No, I don't like you, but if you ask me a question, I'll tell you" Officer: Why is there cocaine traces on your driver's license Me: I don't know what you are talking about Officer: Well there's traces of it, I just tested it. You have to tell me the truth or I'm going to question everything you've said prior to this. Me: I don't know what you are talking about Officer: Sir, I need to know, where did the cocaine come from. I don't care if you use it for pleasure, i'm only concerned with if you are importing it. Me: Do you really want to know? Officer: Yes Me: Do you REALLY want to know? Officer: Yes Me: Do you REALLY REALLY REALLY want to know? Officer: YES (very firm and loud, haha he was annoyed) Me: Okay, I'll tell you the truth, but can I trust you? Officer: Yes. Me: Okay...*huge fucking deep breath, loud as fuck*...I...the cocaine...I...*quick deep breath*...I don't know what you are talking about. Officer: Stop lying to me! Me: You stop lying you fat lying pig! That's when they sent me into a room with no chairs, no table, no one way mirrors, just an empty white wall'd room with a camera on the ceiling. There was no door handle, but the door did have one of those eye slider things on it. Definitely far from the movies, I was rather disappointed. I asked if he wanted to tickle my balls, he didn't respond. Fell asleep there, was detained for 4 hours, followed by general questioning and release. That was fun!
Follow Ups	What happened the last time you got pulled over in your Z - ZXRider 10:56:09 09/19/13 Just washed the Z, took it for a spin... - Agent X 11:31:07 09/19/13 Same thing happened to me in IL in my maxima - Zsgetyoulaid 12:22:25 09/19/13 Ouch... - Agent X 12:46:29 09/19/13 Wait, are you really surprised that you got a ticket? - AHos(Chicago) 13:20:47 09/19/13 Yea, passing a cop sounds like rolling dice at a craps table (n/m) - Aqualung 15:33:22 09/19/13 getting the ticket didn't surprise me - Zsgetyoulaid 04:14:13 09/20/13 I've passed officers many times. I can't help it if they - MixManMash 09:41:13 09/20/13 I have no problem if they are going under the limit. - AHos(Chicago) 17:00:02 09/20/13 About four years ago, I pulled into the office park... - Z DNA 11:45:20 09/19/13 I had just bought my TT, still had the NA. Took the TT - zellamay 11:47:00 09/19/13 Similar experience at the Canadian border in a rental car... - ZXoltan 12:27:12 09/19/13 hah, this happens to me about 2x a month - fuzzymonkey 19:14:20 09/19/13 Many years ago..... - BOOZTD 3 11:49:54 09/19/13 I got the same response from a cop in an explorer - Audicon 12:07:42 09/19/13 Was on the ring road to go to a friend's place to borrow a - MixManMash 12:12:22 09/19/13 * knew, not new. (n/m) - MixManMash 12:12:57 09/19/13 It was just after midnight and we had just got done working - rcmadness 12:45:19 09/19/13 yup, you were completely owned - vorpalZ 15:28:00 09/19/13 I had the dogs sniff my balls. - fuzzymonkey 13:03:33 09/19/13 LOL. Glad it goes both ways.... - ZXoltan 15:37:52 09/19/13 Most of the female customs officers are butch and ugly - fuzzymonkey 16:42:44 09/19/13 LOL (n/m) - ZinnZ32 18:38:42 09/19/13 ^^^I 2nd this^^^ - MrOzzie5183 19:49:04 09/19/13 this is what you get when you cross the border 3 times a day (n/m) - Stanky 19:56:46 09/19/13 awesome (n/m) - aliaZ 08:26:16 09/20/13 Jeebus, you remind me a lot of my friend Kevin. (n/m) - MixManMash 09:36:15 09/20/13 I seriously lol'd at your story - Zsgetyoulaid 13:51:21 09/20/13 Ontario, CA - BEASTT 13:39:54 09/19/13 ZDayZ 2012 - MegaZ 14:16:23 09/19/13 zdayz 2010 - TTZEDHEAD 18:04:47 09/19/13 I was driving I 90 with my son. My V1 tipped me off that the - 240Z FeO2 14:16:33 09/19/13 Window tint on the front windows, go CA - -Grimm- 14:18:57 09/19/13 I got the tint ticket too - BEASTT 15:09:03 09/19/13 went to jail...lady pulled out in front of me - genic 15:05:39 09/19/13 last time wasn't a big deal but still annoying - vorpalZ 15:47:47 09/19/13 didnt i have a part in your sig? (n/m) - genic 20:30:29 09/19/13 Re: A few months ago when I first starting breaking the - ConverTTZ 16:02:59 09/19/13 Re: What happened the last time you got pulled over in your Z - Basedd_z32tt 16:06:25 09/19/13 On the way to Zcon - SilverZXTT(CO) 16:06:29 09/19/13 At least I did pull over too :) - Woody75 (Denver) 16:35:32 09/19/13 Ouch! (n/m) - BlitZ91TT 12:13:33 09/20/13 On the way to Branson Z-fest this year. - Woody75 (Denver) 16:39:14 09/19/13 What is a generally accepted speeding rule in USA? - fuzzymonkey 16:55:45 09/19/13 Re: What is a generally accepted speeding rule in USA? - z-owned 18:15:01 09/19/13 Differs from state to state - bartz32tt 18:22:59 09/19/13 Re: Differs from state to state - z-owned 18:59:22 09/19/13 I believe the guns have to have the calibration date on them - AHos(Chicago) 19:34:48 09/19/13 tinted front windows... - Stanky 19:52:16 09/19/13 Excessive NOISE! Cruising around town one afternoon... - ZinnZ32 20:33:35 09/19/13 Houston, 1999 - ConVerTT 20:42:07 09/19/13 I was hit in the parking lot, - youngbloodz 03:15:28 09/20/13 ...i got a ticket (n/m) - SuparexTT 21:23:36 09/19/13 A few days before ZCon / 86 in a 55 - Wreckless in VA - Adam (NoVA) 08:30:50 09/20/13 The few short times I've had to drive through VA, I had the - MixManMash 09:38:00 09/20/13 Add* What have you done to change your driving habits? - BlitZ91TT 12:30:30 09/20/13
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